One of my colleagues was serving in a central government establishment and his wife was working as a headmaster in the education department. Ten years ago, his son went to work abroad. The parents preferred a girl for the marriage of their son, but their son was not ready for marriage, as the provisions of his employment did not allow him to bring a family to that country for three years of joining the company. The girl’s parents were told that our boy will get married now, but your daughter will not be able to go abroad for the next three years and will have to stay in Jodhpur.
Seeing the house and family status, the girl’s parents accepted the above condition and then they got married with pomp. As it happens mostly. In such a case, the girl prefers to remain on her side of the family than her in-laws. But the bride told her In-laws that both of you are working in government jobs and there is a rush of preparation by getting up early in the morning. So I will stay with you and help you with your homework, so that you can be comfortable and my time will also go well. God has given me a good opportunity to serve you at this time, which will not be possible after I go abroad.
If the mother-in-law would sometimes ask the daughter-in-law to go to her parents’, she would come back after four-five days and say that she doesn’t feel like belonging there so she would come back as soon as she can. The night when she comes back to the in-laws, the mother-in-law has to spend the night with her until she is done explaining the details and stories she experienced about her relatives and the locality during her stay.
Three years passed and neither the daughter-in-law realized nor did the parents feel the distance from their child.
The daughter-in-law’s mixed so well with the in-laws it was like milk mixed with sugar.
After that his son took daughter-in-law abroad. About two years later, the bride became pregnant and it was time for delivery.
The son-in-law said to the mother-in-law, if you can come abroad, I will have convenience, otherwise I will come to live with you guys in Jodhpur. At that time, the Father-in-law (my good friend) had retired from the central service, but in case of his wife there were about two years left in retirement, both the husband and wife discussed and came to the conclusion that a Voluntary retirement should be taken by her, as this is what the so lovable daughter (ie daughter-in-law) desires. Then both husband and wife after leaving the job went abroad and after eight months on his return to Jodhpur, told me the above story.
This episode will guide the way for those newly born daughter-in-laws, who are not keeping proper harmony with their mother-in-law and are living in trouble in the in-laws’ house. The basic thing in this is that after marriage, when the girl comes to her in-laws’ house from her husband, then her in-laws’ home becomes her home, and her parents’ home becomes secondary.
The life of the in-laws becomes cheerful if the daughters-in-law adopts this belief in a natural, easy way।
-Er. Tarachand
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