Eng. Tara Chand

This incident dates back to the time when a medical college was not established in the city of Jodhpur. At that time a doctor Parihar (name changed) did MBBS from Lucknow and came to Jodhpur. He was posted in the Women’s Hospital of Jodhpur city by the Medical Department. Incidentally, in the same hospital, his father was serving as a peon, when Dr. Saheb used to sit on the chair in the room while on duty in the hospital, then his father used to do his state service by sitting on a stool outside.

The people of the locality ask “Baba”, do you have no problem doing the job under your son? Basa says that the doctor is my officer in the hospital and I am an employee under him, then how is the problem? Therefore, following the orders of the doctor is the job of a peon, which I am doing comfortably. I am his father in the house and the doctor has to obey orders like a son and he has no problem with this. However, this process lasted only a few months and when it came to the notice of the department, the above doctor was transferred to another city.

After that Parihar’s father continued to provide his services in that hospital. After two years, father got a knot in his back and went to see the surgeon in the Mahatma Gandhi hospital and kept taking medicines, but there was no much relief. One day he was returning after showing his condition to a junior specialist (surgeon), when Dr. Bhandari, who was then a senior surgeon, saw him leaving. Dr. Bhandari sent another peon and called the person back. Dr. Bhandari had studied with Dr. Parihar in Lucknow and was an old friend of the locality.

Dr. Bhandari checked Dr. Parihar’s father again and told that his knot will be treated only by operation. Dad said that when my son comes on Jodhpur vacation, then he will talk to you. Dr. Bhandari said that if your elder son himself is present here, you will not face any kind of problem. Dr. Bhandari operated on him which was successful and Dr. Bhandari sent his daily medicine and bandage work along with the nurse after her shift every day and he himself used to visit him daily, in the evening.

This way despite being a peon, handled well and cured the father of his fellow doctor. One day I got a chance to meet Dr. Parihar at the age of 80. I too from the time of my engineering college studies was acquainted and lived in his neighborhood. 

Recalling the old times, he told how Dr. Bhandari operated on his father in my absence. It deserves praise. It was further told that when I came on leave to Jodhpur after my father’s operation, my father had gone to the hospital. So I thought that at this time I will meet Dr. Bhandari in Mahatma Gandhi Hospital itself. Being old friends, the gossip and chat session  went on for two-three hours, But he didn’t tell from his mouth that I operated on your father’s back knot in your absence and took care of the whole essence.

At that time there was no telephone system and the information or news used to be conveyed after fifteen to twenty days, by postcard. When my father came home from duty and narrated the whole story to me about the above incident, I was overwhelmed by Dr. Bhandari’s action. 

Where do you find such companions? 

Both the doctors are now somewhere in heaven for quite a few years ago, bowing to them, again and again.

-Er. Tarachand

इस लेख को हिंदी में पढ़ने के लिए यहां क्लिक करें:

साथी हो तो ऐसा

The bitter relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been going on for years. Because of this, he himself gets upset. Due to which the family environment is polluted, children become frustrated.

A story is prevalent in the villages even today. Earlier, women kept cows in the houses and used to prepare ghee after collecting curd and buttermilk (whey) which remained behind. It was distributed free of cost to the women of the locality. Once the mother-in-law had gone out of the house, the elderly woman living at the end of the locality came to that house to get buttermilk, the daughter-in-law said – now there is no buttermilk left when the woman was returning to her house. Where did you go?

The old lady told me that I had gone to your house to get buttermilk, but the daughter-in-law said that there is no buttermilk. Mother-in-law said to the woman, come with me, how can the daughter-in-law refuse you for buttermilk? Both reached the house and made that woman sit in the outside room and went to the daughter-in-law to inquire inside. The daughter-in-law told the mother-in-law that the buttermilk was over. Mother-in-law said – no problem. He told the woman sitting in the outside room that the buttermilk was over. The woman said- I had already told you this, so what was the need to bring me back home with me? The mother-in-law said that the daughter-in-law does not have the right to refuse, if anyone has to refuse from this house, then I will. Mother-in-law wants to have this kind of domination.

As a child, we used to see that the mother-in-law used to keep food and drink from the villages in her lock. Before preparing food, she used to give the goods according to her daughter-in-law and then keep it by locking the goods in the room. When the mother-in-law passed away and the daughter-in-law grew up to become a mother-in-law, she took her daughter-in-law’s house and treated him as his mother-in-law had treated her and such animosity and mistrust used to go on between generation after generation. The educated people of the villages migrated to the cities, then gradually there was some improvement in the mother-in-law’s relationship.

Educated mother-in-law’s and daughter-in-law’s have all improved. It is not such a thing to talk about the Oswal community in Jodhpur. A father who used to run a business had two sons. The father came into adulthood and realized that the business run by him is in loss, so he told the sons that one brother should take over the present business and the other educated boy should do a job and his daughter-in-law is also educated, so that job too. If you do then the future of both will pass in the right way. The elder brother was given the old shop and business snake and the younger boy and daughter-in-law started teaching. After a few years the house was allotted from the housing board of the little boy. After the death of his mother, the little boy said to his father – you give me your deposits. I too will have a separate home. And you got into the sweet talk of father and son living with me in the new house and handed over your deposits to the younger son. For a whole year, the father was comfortable, then the daughter-in-law started her dance. Indecent behavior with father-in-law, disorder of eating and drinking and torture started in such a way that the father became very upset and finally he had to spend the last time in old age home.

A daughter-in-law with good values ​​was also seen in an educated family. Went to meet Brigadier Sahab’s house at one place in a day. When a letter was mentioned in the talks, the Brigadier Saheb said to a woman – Pushu (Pushpa’s beloved name) came four days ago after finding the elder brother’s letter and seeing his behavior, I asked the Brigadier Saheb “is this your daughter”? He said -yes, she is my daughter-in-law and the son is posted on the border. That day I realized that if mother-in-law and father-in-law treat daughter-in-law like their daughter, then mother-in-law’s quarrels can end a lot.

You will be surprised that one of my companions loves her son-in-law more than her daughter. When the mother-in-law sends her daughter-in-law to meet her for four-five days. When the mother-in-law asks the reason for coming early, the daughter-in-law says – Mummyji, I do not feel like home without you.

No matter how good it is, as the Brigadier and mother-in-law of my companion like the behavior of the daughter-in-law of my colleague, then the story of the bitterness of the mother-in-law of the house will be curbed. Today I request the Pathak brothers to give the status of daughter to their son-in-law, mother-in-law to take her daughter-in-law into confidence. If the daughter-in-law considers mother-in-law to be father-mother, then the solution to this problem is inevitable.

-Er. Tarachand

इस लेख को हिंदी में पढ़ने के लिए यहां क्लिक करें:

सास भी कभी बहू थी

It is often seen that officers/employees become victims of inferiority complex after retirement from government/semi government jobs.

For example, let me tell you that ten years ago I went to Jaipur to meet my son. At that time, when I went to visit a garden near our colony in the evening, by chance I met the engineers of my department, who turned out to be my former acquaintances. He said in our conversation, “I have retired this year and live in the opposite colony. I asked him about willingness to visit his house the next morning. That engineer’s brother told me that you can come, but if you ask anyone about my house in the colony, etc., then you do not tell them that I have retired. I have not told the colony yet that I have retired, I get ready at 10 o’clock as before and leave the house so that the people of the colony keep saying Namaste as usual.

Whenever his customers/clients used to meet that fellow while in service for 35-36 years, it was normal practice to say Namaste, then used to talk about work. The craving for Namaste to that person has not ended, I consider it as an inferiority complex.

My assessment is that if you keep good communication with the public while in government service and do not obstruct their work, then even after your retirement, they will meet you with respect and will do Ramasama (Namaste).

For example, I lived in Chaumu Division of Jaipur from 1985 to 1990 and got good respect from the public, because my effort has been to get electricity properly at the time of harvest. In the office also, if the consumer would come with his complaint, I would try to make him completely satisfied.

Three days after the above meeting, I was standing at the Jaipur G.P.O. M I, on the roadside; waiting for the taxi. After some time a taxi full of three or four farmers was coming towards me from the wrong direction, so I thought maybe the brakes had failed, so I backed down a bit. I saw that the farmers and sarpanch descended, they introduced themselves  to be from Rampura, Dabri village and said hello. They recognized me from afar, even after twenty years. So they asked the driver to take a turn in the wrong direction and came to meet me. They urged that I should accompany them to their village today itself and see the saplings planted by me, twenty years ago. But that day I had to return back to Jodhpur, so I went to that village after three-four months. When the sarpanch talked about the plant, I remembered that a worker of that village had died in an electrical accident when I was the Executive Engineer in Chaumu Division and Rampura Dabri was in one of my sub-divisions 

 I also went to the cremation of the deceased along with my assistant engineer, employees that day. There the sarpanch had told me that day that the widow is from a poor family and there is no land property here, uneducated too. So now this widow will have to beg for her living. It was God’s grace that the desire to help him became strong in my mind. I talked to my subordinate engineers, labor leaders and planned about helping that widow, then all happily agreed without any debate. 

Readers, you will be happy to know that with the financial support of all the engineers, employees and workers of Chaumu block, in Rampura Dabri village, a vacant plot was bought in the name of a widow for 25 x 50. Completed construction of two rooms, kitchen, lat-bath and boundary and got electricity and water connection done. The widow got the compensation amount after death of about Rs 86,000/-, and got a government job in the electricity department. A grand event was organized in the village. When the MLA presented the building to the widow, the villagers had arranged food for about 300 persons on that day. Our then Superintending Engineer became so emotional that he said that I am not in a position to give a speech now.

If government officers/employees keep such behavior from the public, then I think such people will do Ramasama (Namaste) to you even after your retirement. 

What do you say about it my dear readers. didn’t I say right?

-Er. Tarachand

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