Earlier there were joint families. All three generations of families lived together in the same house. According to the orders of the head of the house, all the customs, engagement, marriage, business etc. of the house were completed. Even young children were confident that parents would do well in their marriage decisions. 20 years ago, a gentleman told me that he went to see his son’s would-be daughter-in-law, his son used to work outside. Then the boy’s father showed the girl’s father the photo and when the girl was shown the photo by her mother, the girl immediately said to her father and mother that the boy you both would like for my relationship is acceptable to me, although that girl was well educated. This was the level of faith, that time, that the girl had on her parents.
Now the situation has changed in such a way that first you should give good education to your children, then with their ability they get a good package in a private company. There they come in contact with a girl/boy who works together. Live in relationship starts and what the boy says, the girl blindly believes.
For example, an acquaintance of mine is an industrialist, he has a daughter. Business is going very well. He took good care of his daughter. After two years of the job, the industrialist told his daughter “I have seen two boys in his society, you also see them, if you like, let’s talk about the engagement.” The girl said “you are a person of old thoughts. I am an adult now and I will inform you after seeing a boy of my own choice.”
A year later, the girl told the parents about the co-worker, who belonged to another caste, where it is considered permissible to eat meat and drink alcohol. Whereas the girl belongs to the Suvarna Samaj. The girl told her parents that I have known him for two years. She said that the boy is a decent person and even garlic and onions are not permitted in their house. Parents, grandparents explained a lot but she did not budge, the boy’s magic was over her. Eventually the parents agreed for the sake of the girl’s happiness.
When the boy’s family was contacted, they asked them to come to Sikar with the girl, then it will be easy for us and here you will not have any problem in staying in the hotel and completing the marriage rituals. The girl’s family members went to Sikar by filling their relatives in buses, where the girl got married with a great celebration.
The girl went to her in-laws’ house. Seven-eight months were spent with difficulties and the girl who had been given the pretext that they did not consume meat and liquor, turned out to be false and from the girl’s parents for her expenses.
They started pressuring the girl to ask for money from her parents for her personal expenses. After all, the girl came back to her parents’ and gave full information to the parents about how she was harassed. She said – I will not go to Sikar now, you should send the notice of divorce. From now on I will not even get married.
In this way, when we hand over everything to the girl, considering the younger generation as wise, mature, then the above situation arises. Not one but four to five such cases have come to my notice.
Boys and girls will also be found educated in our own society, it’s just a matter of finding them. Your close relatives can be very helpful in this. Just getting a good package is not a guarantee of a good family life. Yes, the opinion of the girl is also necessary, but the parents should also keep looking at the suitable bride/groom without leaving the girl in the relationship; and if a boy / girl from the society or society’s equivalent caste comes to their attention, then the parents should investigate. Get engaged when satisfied, then organize a marriage for about a year after being satisfied with the complete information of the boy’s family. Then you will see that the boy and the girl are happy, and the people of the society will also say “what a wonderful relationship they have had.”
This is my personal opinion, this article is written just to warn you.
-Er. Tarachand
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